If you listen very carefully you can hear Maury doing the Dance of Joy as images of a Justin Bieber Paternity Test themed show float through his head. The You ARE the Father Band is practicing their version of ‘Baby’ while assistants create audience goodie bags stuffed with Chuck E Cheese coupons and a lock of his newly shorn hair.
Mariah Yeater claims that she had sex with Beiber backstage after one of his concerts at Staples Center. Star magazine features a photo of Justin’s alleged son, Tristyn Anthony Markhouse Yeater, on the cover just minutes after he was born. The 20 year old filed a paternity suit on October 31, 2011. She claims that one of JB’s bodyguards approached her during the show and asked if she wanted to come backstage. After waiting for him to finish playing with his choo-choo trains, Justin joined her backstage and took her to a bathroom where they had sex. According to her, he refused to wear a condom and only lasted 30 seconds. (That is the only truly believable detail about this story.)
“Justin Bieber appeared and engaged me in conversation. Immediately, it was obvious that we were mutually attracted to one another, and we began to kiss. Shortly thereafter, Justin Bieber suggested that I go with him to a private place where we could be alone. I agreed to go with him and on the walk to a private area, he told me he wanted to make love to me and this was going to be his first time.
After walking away from the other people backstage, Justin Bieber found a place where we could be alone — a bathroom. We went inside and immediately his personality changed drastically. He began touching me and repeatedly said he wanted to f**k the s**t out of me. At the time I asked him to put a condom for protection, but he insisted that he did not want to.
In his own words, he said that because it was his first time he wanted to feel everything. He was on top of me with my legs around him. At the time I was on top of some type of shelf. The sexual intercourse itself was brief, lasting only approximately 30 seconds.”
Ok…but does Justin even know where babies come from yet?
Her signed a sworn statement adds…
“On July 6, 2011, I gave birth to a baby boy. That was exactly 36 weeks and two days after the sexual encounter with Justin Bieber. Based upon the timing as well as the fact there were no other possible men that I had sex with that could be the father of this baby, I believe that Justin Bieber is in fact the father of my baby.”
Beiber’s team is going into CLUTCH THE PEARLS AND GASP NO WAY! mode and released this statement…
“While we haven’t yet seen the lawsuit, it’s sad that someone would fabricate malicious, defamatory, and demonstrably false claims. We will vigorously pursue all available legal remedies to defend and protect Justin against these allegations.”
I am no Star Jones, but isn’t the legal age of consent in California 18? So wouldn’t this be statutory rape? Either way, this gives me a case of the ICKY.
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Images Via: Wenn.com